What makes someone beautiful?

Is it their looks? Is it their personality? Is it their ability to do things? Is it them? What is it? I think I’ve finally found the answer. I logged onto my facebook and I see my friend, let’s say Jackie, yeah her name is Jackie for now. My friend Jackie posted this status about how much she wanted to be skinny and how skinny girls are the prettiest and the most attractive. That post really bothered me because I felt really offended. I am not the skinniest thing alive and I’ve accepted it. Yeah, I’m overweight, but fuck I live in America. America is a continent on Earth, Earth is just a fraction of the size of the Sun. The Sun is only a molecule in the universe. Compared to all of that, why should we care what size we are?

So I commented on her status and said “Sure you can be skinny and pretty, but it takes more than that to be beautiful.” All she could say was “Well, I don’t feel very beautiful.. or attractive.” I told her that even if she was skinny she would find something to criticize herself for and that she still wouldn’t find herself beautiful. It’s taken me almost 10 years to figure this out. I should probably heed my own advice. However, I cannot stand someone who blatantly calls themselves ugly just for attention. I feel no one should be treated like that, no matter what they look like, because well. Everyone is beautiful. Whether you are 100lbs or 400lbs. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters because life itself is beautiful. You shouldn’t beat yourself or anyone else down for not fitting the mold society has crafted.

This is me 3 months ago. Since then I've lost weight and I'm beautiful no matter what.

To be happy is to be beautiful. Happiness is beauty. Life is beauty. You are the definition of beauty. Stay beautiful.

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  • Reply Semonte August 23, 2011 at 6:16 PM

    You know, even if you hadn’t lost weight, you’d still be beautiful. :D You’re absolutely gorgeous in that picture.

    I always feel really bad when my friends call themselves ugly because like you, I’ve only just started accepting myself, and I wish others would do the same. And I completely agree with you when you say you can’t stand it when people insult themselves for attention, because there are people who truly believe that they’re not good enough.

    My best friend has really low self esteem, and I told her to read this. She just did, and she said it helped, so thank you. :)

    • Reply Amber August 26, 2011 at 6:11 AM

      I know. I was just recently understanding my horrible ways of low self esteem and hoping to help other people in the way I had figured it all out. It seems I had helped more than I hoped and I am so thankful to everyone who commented on this blog.

      Yeah, I really do hate when people do that. It’s like they’re lying to themselves so they get more attention. There are better, more acceptable ways of getting attention. There ARE really people, like I formerly was, who believe that they really aren’t good enough for anything and that they’re not worth the space they’re taking up. It’s miserable to think about it that way, but that’s just how some people are.

      I am really glad I could help you and your friend! It has made my day to see this blog become really successful! Thank you!

      • Reply Semonte August 27, 2011 at 2:30 PM

        It’s really sad to see that someone who is as gorgeous as you felt that way. I hate seeing people like that, and I agree that it’s sad to think about it that way.

        You’re welcome! :) Thanks to you, I’ve seen improvement in the way my friend thinks about herself. She’s definitely a lot more confident and happier now, since reading this blog, so once again, thank you very much for all your help. :)

  • Reply mayra August 23, 2011 at 9:25 PM

    wow this blog is so true, i always had a hard time accepting my looks but i learned to get over i and accept my self, also selena gomez’s song who says and demi’s skyscraper helped a lot they’re so inspirational.
    oh yeah i hate when ppl call themselves ugly just for attention, its like ugh annoyinggg LOL

    • Reply Amber August 26, 2011 at 6:17 AM

      Thank you for your comment, Mayra. After you posted this comment, I youtube’d that Selena Gomez song and I never thought a song from someone such as her could be so inspiring. I mean, I have nothing against her, but it’s just unexpected since I don’t listen to newfound music like that.

      You shouldn’t care what people say or think about you because it’s not about them, it’s what you think, and if you believe and show your confidence, then what do they matter? :) You’re beautiful<3

  • Reply Austen August 24, 2011 at 2:38 AM

    I’m a very strange person, something called ‘asexual’, and I am completely not physically attracted to much of anything. I have weird preferences, like I like how brown skin reflects light, but that’s entirely an ‘artists’ way of looking at it instead of ‘damn he sexy’. I have honestly never been physically attracted to somebody that I don’t know, and my attractions to people have all been completely ‘wow, they’re super funny!’ or ‘this person is the sweetest guy ever’, but I have been all attracted to guys. So beauty, for me, is a difficult concept. As a photographer I tend to see the beauty in all things, or at least try to. As a person, I am one of the few who actually doesn’t give two shits about looks, they don’t skew my opinion either way.

    • Reply Amber August 26, 2011 at 6:20 AM

      That’s how I feel! I don’t “go out” with anybody unless I’ve known them for a good amount of time. I like to get to know them for them and not try to pick out the good because they’re eyecandy but completely nasty personality wise.

      Photography is another thing, you could take a photograph of a really unattractive person, but the picture will still be a good picture if the composition and etc is all right. People don’t understand that it’s not the subject that’s beautiful, it’s the whole picture composed together. :)

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  • Reply Kayt August 24, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    I agree with you. it doesn’t matter what size you are, you’re always going to find something “Wrong” with yourself.
    I hate when girls posts pictures and say “im so fat” or “ew I’m so ugly”. If you found that to be true, you wouldn’t have posted the picture! Their just looking for compliments or something. Sure its a confidence boost for them to hear what they wanna hear, but still, don’t do it over and over.
    I should take my own advice as well, cause a lot of the times I just feel gross and ugly, but other times I feel pretty and beautiful. Blah. lol
    I like this picture of yourself! & I love your hair. I wish I could pull that off. seriously.

    • Reply Amber August 26, 2011 at 6:24 AM

      Exactly! I feel that way towards the lot of my girl facebook friends. They post pictures with “omg, i’m so ugglieee” as the caption and it completely grosses me out. I don’t even want to look at it because chances are, the picture is a relatively okay photo and they don’t look all that bad. Then again, i’m a photographer so I tend to overlook such personal preferences like that.

      Thank you! That picture was 3 months ago, I’m now blonde with some blue in my bangs. ;P

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  • Reply Sunny August 25, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Hi, Amber! :)
    This blog entry is so inspiring! Very well said!!!
    You’re right, size doesn’t even contribute the slight bit to a person’s beauty. I believe that confidence is beauty. No matter how much a person weighs, they should always believe that they ARE beautiful and they ARE talented, and they ARE amazing and other people will believe so too… <-Sunny philosophy hehe :P

    Oh, btw, just wanted to say- I LOVE your new makeup!!!!!!!! & your store in general is just amazing! I'd love to buy something sometime :D you are sooo talented Amber!!! & VERY beautiful as well <3
    Stay beautiful too!! Thanks for making a blog post that truly brightened my day(:

    • Reply Amber August 26, 2011 at 6:33 AM

      Confidence is beauty, you are correct. I’m surprised I did not write that. I feel I should add that somewhere, now. Thank you! I really like Sunny philosophy, it works and makes a lot of sense. More people should know about your philosophy. :)

      I’ve been working really hard on my store, I’d also like to mention that all profits from my store go to future giveaways and all things website related (as well as restocking the store, but that is a given!)

      Your comment really made me smile, Sunny. Honestly, thank you! I am only realizing that I am good at something, trying to expand my talents to help people and etc.

      Once again, thank you! :) You are beautiful and I’m glad I got to someone with my blog!

      • Reply Sunny August 26, 2011 at 11:35 AM

        You’re very welcome! I like Sunny philosophy too ;) hehe
        Wow!!! So it’s nonprofit! That’s very nice of you!!! Wow, I really admire you for doing that!! <3

        You just reminded me, Amber. You said that you are trying to expand your talents to help people? Well, I'm starting a new project called "Project Re-Dream" that's going to do exactly that. I'm going to make a art-sharing community of meaningful, motivational, inspirational art that's mainly directed towards solving teenage struggles. I'm currently looking for people who are willing to participate. Are you interested? :D You don't need a lot of free time at all to participate, just at least an hour every 2 weeks would be good :) If you are, please read and comment on my latest blog! Thank you so much Amber ! ^^

  • Reply Ashley August 26, 2011 at 4:54 AM

    Amen to that =D I also hate when people talk down about themselves just for attention. You can really tell when they are doing it for that reason.

    I’d like to comment on your last blog post too because I’m late reading it. First, congrats on the piercing — it looks really good! Your hair looks awesome too =)

    And yay for kicking the nail biting habit!! I’ve recently done the same. Its such a good feeling to look down at my hands and see pretty nails instead of chewed off nubs! XD

    • Reply Amber August 26, 2011 at 6:40 AM

      Yeah, it’s seriously stupid and everyone notices when people do it for attention. It’s like “do I even bother commenting on this actually-not-so-bad photo?”. :\

      Thank you! My piercing is just barely getting to where I can almost sleep on it because the swelling has gone down and it’s not so sore. (Like that really bad run-on sentence? aha) My hair is beginning to feel very healthy for the first time in a while (while = years). I bleach it often, that’s why I had it black for so long, but I went back to the habit of bleaching it. OMG! The nail biting habit is almost successful! I’ve still been like putting my fingers near my mouth and kinda biting on them, but not really. Like, i’ll put my fingers in my mouth and pretend to bite them, you know what I mean? D: You’re right though, it is a great feeling to look down to your pretty nails and not ugly nubs. D:

      Oh! Ashley, did you ever receive your package? I never heard anything else about it after I asked for an address to send it to. :)

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  • Reply Marjorie August 26, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    Even though you’ve lost weight, I just wanted to say that you look beautiful in that picture. I especially love your hairstyle there. :)

    I think anyone who has to fish for compliments with the “I’m ugly” trick (I had a gorgeous friend who did it often and it drove me nuts) is just incredibly insecure for one reason or another. Each of us have to go on that personal journey to realize how beautiful we are. Everyone you know can call you beautiful, but it won’t make you believe it. You have to get there on your own! I pretty much hated my looks growing up and it took me a long time to love myself. Thank you for posting this, I hope it helps some girls!

  • Reply Blanca August 26, 2011 at 11:15 PM

    Amber, this blog is beautiful. I completely agree with you. I think there’s beauty in everyone in some way or another. Your friend “Jackie” must have some really low self esteem to either think she’s ugly and/or crave that attention. That’s really sad. When you frequently compare yourself to the image of “perfect,” it’s obviously saying you’re not comfortable with yourself. I’m not saying that we must ALWAYS be comfortable with ourselves… no. But, let’s make an effort to love what we have.

    I think almost anything can make us beautiful! Whether it’s personality, smarts, talents, or even looks, to be quite honest, everyone is beautiful. Amen to that.

    Just about 5-6 months ago, my friend Christina committed suicide and no one really knows why but I have a gut feeling it was her desperate attempts to be “beautiful.” She would care about her appearance way way way too much. It was to a point where (and i’m ashamed to admit this) it got really annoying. I miss her and when I think about her I think about how I just gave up on her. I should have helped her realize just how beautiful she was. She was pretty, funny and very friendly.

  • Reply Narrii August 27, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    I think you’re pretty =D But I agree 100% with you. People must begin to love themselves for who they are. You dont have to be skinny, have perfect nose or perfect hair. Everyone are beautiful in the way they are and too bad if someone dont like you just the way u are.
    Btw, I would love to have u on facebook :D

  • Reply roxy August 29, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    hiya i’ve just worked your image map tutorial and i can’t believe how easy it was. i’m wanting to make my blogger public likes yours so people can comment. is there a special program i have to use or can you please tell me how you did it
    x thank you

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